A relationship requires commitment from both parties to work out. Sadly, not all relationships are meant to last. Some are bound to fail, but this can sometimes be hard to admit no matter how obvious the situation might tell you. Sometimes, we choose to hold on. Maybe because we have invested time and emotions to just give up. We are too scared of what’s going to happen after. We are uncertain of our lives without that someone. Sometimes, we also choose to hold on because the people around us who have also been a part of our relationship will be as devastated by the breakup, but you need to ask yourself: Is it really worth staying in a relationship that no longer nurtures you?
You need to ask yourself these questions and decide:
Are you still growing as an individual?
When you get into a relationship, you agree to grow with someone, make plans and build your life according to your mutual aspirations, but we have to remember that we are an individual before we anything else. That means we have our own perceptions, dreams, aspirations, and preferences. We just decided to compromise with someone to live our lives with them, but our individuality is still there. It is important that we remain true to ourselves and never forget our own being. Sometimes, we get blinded by love that we are willing to give it all and just forget about ourselves. As an individual, our values such as our dignity and integrity should remain unbroken.
The emotions, doubts, guilt, positive recall, fears, sadness, etc., tend to take over at some point in the breakup process, which often send two people back towards each other, often fearing they made a mistake by breaking up. —
Do you still feel your worth?
How you feel about yourself is important in a relationship. It affects how you handle things and how you act towards your partner. It affects your decision-making and direction in life. Self-worth is always parallel to self-esteem. The more you value yourself, the more confident you become and the more effective partner you will be. That’s why it is important that you feel your worth in a relationship. You feel valued and cherished instead is taken for granted. You must always feel important and loved or else you will feel little about yourself, and a person who loves you should never make you feel that way.
I statements: This bothers me… Please do this…” The key here is keeping it concrete—not that “You are a slop” but “It bothers when I see your jacket laying on the floor when I come home. — Robert Taibbi L.C.S.W.
Do your sacrifices still matter?
In a relationship, sacrifices are necessary for certain situations to be able to balance everything, even the littlest sacrifices matter. Even choosing where you’re going to eat on a dinner date. You wanted Italian but she wanted Sushi, so you will agree to go her favorite Japanese restaurant even though you never really liked Japanese. These simple sacrifices are part of a relationship but what’s important is that they are recognized. If not, there’s no point. If they make you feel that it is your obligation to do things, they’re not worth it.
When it comes to love, it is advisable to not only go into it with your heart; but to go into it with your head. That way, instead of automatically selecting the same type of person for the same negative traits, you can try selecting a partner who is entirely different. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
Every relationship is worth saving, but there are times when you need to finally say “enough.” Sometimes, the more you hold onto something that hurts you, the more damage you do to yourself. If you have already tried to reach out and open up about how you feel but everything is still the same, then it’s time for you to decide if you still want to continue to hope for better days or you want to set yourself free and move on.