Rebound relationships can often help people stop missing their exes. When a person starts dating someone new, their success in having found another appealing person to date can help them feel better about their romantic prospects. — Samantha Joel Ph.D.
For someone who’s serious about her romantic relationships, nothing would be more painful than the thought of being in a rebound relationship. Well, there are quite a few instances when they can be helpful, and sometimes they even do work. However, this is only good if both man and woman have an understanding about the real deal of the relationship, if both are on the same page right from the very start.
Some men, though, don’t consciously think that they are rebounding. Perhaps it’s just that you were there and he was weak and looking for a cure. Others do deny even to themselves that they’re just in for the rebound, most especially to the women they’re dating – and that’s way too unfair, don’t you think?
Girl, you need to look for these clues to find out that you’re in fact his rebound, and that he’s just interested in something transient and fleeting, and not at all long-lasting.
Warning Signs That You’re In A Rebound Relationship
- He Brings Up His Ex Almost Always, Telling You Negative Things About Her
He insists every time that he’s long been over his ex, but he always talks about her and complains about how bad the relationship turned out because of her. I mean, who is he fooling? If he rants to you about his former partner without you even mentioning her name, then clearly he hasn’t gotten over her yet. He’s bitter and obviously still has feelings for her – just the right reasons not to date you.
Those on the rebound are assumed to be distressed, shamed, angry, or sad. Consequently, their emotional availability is questioned, as is their capacity to be devoted to a new partner or make good decisions in choosing one. — Mary C. Lamia Ph.D.
- He Disregards The Importance Of His Relationship Of 4 Years
He treats you like you’ve been lovers since forever,but he tells you his former lover of four years was not significant anymore? Now, you should be concerned. A man (or woman, for that matter) who is principled and honest treasures his past relationships and considers them learning experiences that have made him a better person. That’s what a real man who has moved on should say.
- He’s Still Keeping In Touch With His Ex.
If your boyfriend broke up with his ex three or four months ago, he shouldn’t be keeping in touch with her at this time. However, if you noticed that he hasn’t actually stopped messaging her and chatting with her online, then be suspicious that he’s just using you to keep up with his lonely times unless they have a kid that they need to take care of. That’s another story. If he’s still stalking his ex and secretly attempts to call her, walk away. He has no plans of building a serious relationship with you. Tell him if he needs help moving on, he might as well see a professional.
- He Wants To Have Sex More Than Too Many
There are good and bad reasons why you and your lover are having sex. However, if he’s just broken up with a long-time girlfriend – beware. Men who are rebounding usually use sex to distract themselvesfrom the pain and loneliness that they’re feeling. Also, this is one of the best excuses for them not to talk about serious matters, like getting your relationship to the next level perhaps. Never disregard this matter,or you’ll learn too late that it was all just about the sex after all.
- He Still Gets Jealous When He Hears About His Ex And Her New Beau
He gets furious when someone tells him that his ex is dating again and that she’s happy. Later you learn that they had officially broken up just two months ago. This is a warning sign for you to take a few steps back, maybe give him space to work his feelings out. He might also show pangs of jealousy when you’re with some male friends, or he forbids you to go out with them. His jealousy may be because his ex cheatedhim and he has a fear of reliving the pain he felt. Don’t get serious with this guy – he’s not worth it.
- He’s One Of Your Closest Male Friends
After a breakup, men realize how much they miss the presence and comfort of a woman, and how much they regret taking it for granted while he had it. When they find it in you – a close female friend – he feels it again. He begins to call you and wants to be with you more often than before, and most of the time he wants you all to himself – not with all your friends. If this happens just a few weeks or a month after his breakup, you can be almost sure that he’s more concerned about your company and merely your presence, not into you specifically.
Guys who are on the rebound seek a lot of things. A party or sex buddy, support, a comforting hug, a friend – just somebody who can capably divert their attention away from their hurt and bitterness. Sadly, at this time, they’re not in search of a serious, lasting relationship yet. So if I were you, read this again, and if they’re true about your guy, I’d suggest you walk away and give your guy the space he needs. Give yourself that space too – to be free and happy with the one that truly deserves you.
If you are in a relationship, and you recognize that it is heading toward the same negative outcome as past relationships, you can stop the momentum and avoid another tragic ending. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.