To a great extent, we live in a culture that resists and fears emotion. From the time we’re babies we’re taught to quickly shut off “negative” feelings like anger, sadness or pain. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
If your relationships keep falling apart one after the other, you may want to take into consideration the behavior that your significant other is seeing. Behaviors, good or bad, determine the fate of the relationship and there are certain behaviors that could ruin a relationship almost immediately. For those of you who are having trouble holding onto a partner, take a look at the list of behaviors below that could contribute to the end of a relationship.
No one wants to be in a relationship with a gossip, let alone be friends with them. Gossips have already destroyed the most important part of a relationship by showing their true colors, trust. People know that if you’re talking about someone else to them then you most likely talk about them to someone else. It can be difficult, but try to make your conversations about ideas and plans rather than the drama that is going on in someone’s life.
- Texting Too Much
Whether you’re on your phone the entire time you are on a date or you are sending over 50 messages a day to your partner, texting too much is usually poisonous to a relationship. If you are someone who spends a lot of time on their phone, you may be making your partner feel as though they are not important and you may be sending the message that you’d rather be somewhere else when you are on dates with them. If you’re someone who sends your partner too many messages or leaves an abundance of voicemails, you may be making them want to avoid you because you are acting too clingy. Put the phone down and be in the moment when you are with your partner.
We’ve fallen into a trance of sorts where there’s some warped shared understanding that to be busy means we are productive members of society, needed and important. — Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
People don’t want to be told that they need to do something more than twice. Although it may seem helpful, nagging only pushes your partner further away from you. Give them the space that they need and trust that they will complete the tasks that you have given to them. If they don’t, don’t confront them. Constant reminders of things that need to be done will only end in resentment on both sides later in the relationship.
- Lack of Communication
Communication is an important aspect of a relationship. Your partner will have no idea how you feel about certain things if you refuse to tell them and vice versa. Learn how to tell your partner about how you feel and what you want from them. You may find that the same things you have been refusing to talk about are the exact same things that they have been wanting to talk to you about as well. If your problem is not speaking your mind but spending time and having a conversation with them, make an effort to reach out to your partner.
Most of the women I work with love their partners. They are shattered to describe their sense of isolation from the man they love so much. Yet the pain of loneliness has begun to take both mental and physical tolls. — Sarah Swenson, MA, LMHC
Once your partner finds out that you’re a liar, there is no going back. They will doubt every word that you speak and everything that you say you do. If they continue to stay in the relationship, this doubt will grow over time and will poison the relationship. If you’re lying, come clean about everything that you have been withholding from your partner and let them know that you are genuinely sorry about it. Then, remain honest. You may be able to salvage a relationship after lying if you show them that you are truly invested in them and that you are making an effort from that moment forward to be the most honest person that you can be.