The pain you get from being rejected is, at times, unbearable. You may have been rejected by someone you like or by your dream job. You can’t but feel helpless under such situations, as if it’s already the end of your journey for you.
However, life doesn’t end there; rejection is a process we all go through. Pain is not always bad; sometimes, the pain we receive only makes us stronger. For some, rejection is a vital step that helps improve your mental health.
What Happens If You Don’t Accept Rejection?
Rejection occurs when an individual is pushed away by someone or something. It can be a romantic partner who may have rejected your proposal for marriage. It can also be a friend who thought of letting go of your friendship.
Each person has a “critical inner voice,” a side of themselves that is turned against them and their circumstances. This “voice” frequently becomes intense after a breakup, twisting a person’s experience through a distorted filter. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
No matter what the situation may be, the outcome for failing to accept rejection may include the following:
- Anxiety And Stress
The first of three problems that may occur involves anxiety and stress. When you are rejected, especially by a romantic partner, you can’t help but feel as if you weren’t enough. You end up overthinking and believing that there’s a problem in you when there’s none. Fixating your thoughts on the rejection because you’re unable to accept it only keeps you stressed.
Depression is the next problem you may face from rejection. These may often result in self-harm as a means of escape from an overwhelming sense of being rejected. You can’t seem to feel any better, and the more you go back to your rejection, the worse you feel.
Trauma is one of the worse conditions you can receive from rejection. Usually, this results from being rejected over a long period. An excellent example of this situation would be when parents reject a child who keeps failing at school or has no friends. Exposure to such a condition can have terrible psychological effects on the child.
Recognize that if someone is just not into you, trying to prove how “right you are for her” is most likely going to do little more than repeatedly prove just how “wrong for her” she believes you to be. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
You need to take rejecting grace so that you can avoid the conditions or problems you may face from failing to do so. By completely accepting the situation and moving on, you will discover that you will be happier. Doing so makes you realize that rejection isn’t the end of your journey. Instead, it was an experience that can help you grow even stronger and better.
Here are four ways on how accepting rejection benefits your mental health.
- Let Rejection Serve As A Motivation To Do Better
Let rejection drive you to feel that you can do better. Don’t let it drag you down, especially if you know that you can prove the people around you wrong.
- You Discover A Different Path In Life
By being rejected in one opportunity, you open up paths to new ones. There is a better opportunity for you out there, and the only way for you to see it is through rejection. Try something you’ve never done before and continued your journey.
- Rejections Help You Reconsider And Reevaluate Your Life
You end up learning more about yourself. You discover and understand better the things you like and hate. With rejections, you may end up pursuing something that suits you better.
- You Learn To Become Patient
After being rejected by your dream job or a lover you’ve been pursuing for a long time, you can’t help but give up. However, by accepting such a situation, you become capable of moving on. You learn you can’t always have what you want. You need to be patient and continue to work hard.
Be vigilant to not give anyone who doesn’t really know you that much influence over your self-image. Certainly a 30 second chat, or even several dates, doesn’t qualify someone as an expert on “you” to judge you. — Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.
If it’s too much for you, you can stop. Give yourself time to recover. In time, you’ll be ready again to pursue your growth.