It’s normal for us to need some time to ruminate and go over the break-up in minute detail when we feel like we were the one who was dumped. Break-ups can definitely qualify as traumatic events and telling and re-telling the break-up story is a relatively normal reaction if it was traumatic for you. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
I can’t honestly say that I remember exactly what I went through during my breakups. Maybe because I almost always sulked into depression and would just drink with my friends, watch television and cry myself to sleep. I only remember that those were among my most effective coping methods to help me move on.
Truth be told,I am only one of the thousands of men and women who go through depression when they lose their loved one from a breakup. I am writing this article to share what I have learned about depression and how it can control your life if you let it – and that you can break free from it.
The Feeling Is Normal
Please don’t think that you’re the only one. Most people who deal with breakups or any emotional issue for that matter are entitled to be sad, angry, and vengeful. Recovering from a broken heart can be comparable at times to healing from a serious physical injury. It is physically and emotionally painful. You’ll want to grieve by yourself, away from your friends and significant others, the ones who are ready and willing to help you go through it. That feeling is normal.
Similarly, you might think that it’s the end of your life, so to speak, simply because you and your loved one always went to parties and family outings together. Without him, you’d be nothing too. At least that’s what you think. And that’s totally acceptable. But if you’re depressed and it has taken you a long time to get over it, you’ll definitely need help getting your life back and pulling yourself out of that dark place. Visit a mental health professional – a counselor, therapist, or a psychologist who can determine if you are suffering from clinical depression or some other mental condition.
But if you still can, here are some possible self-coping methods that you can try to combat depression and prevent it from taking control of your life.
What people refer to as the breakup is really more of an announcement to their partner that they’re going to attempt a commitment to separation from the relationship. An actual breakup that lasts takes much more of an active commitment than people tend to realize. —
Strategies That Can Help Beat Depression Before It Beats You
Arrange a weekly brunch with your close friends. I know this is where you tell me that you don’t want to see anybody, but you should try to. Remember that the more you isolate yourself, the more you allow yourself to get dragged down into the depths of depression. Acknowledge that you need company –and your friends are the perfect shock absorbers. You can cry to them, rant to them, and even get mad at them. In the end, they’ll still be around, if they truly are your friends.
Eat, Pray, Love. This means you can travel if you have the budget. This could also mean you can do inspiring things just within your town, visit places that you’ve never been to, maybe join some practices or festivities that you and your friends can check out. Eat, Pray, Love is an enlightening movie for the heartbroken, and the story is something that you can take inspiration from. Why don’t you watch it as well?
Be Conscious Of What You Consume. Depression, whether from a breakup or from other reasons, may cause erratic changes in your sleeping and eating habits. You may be a health-conscious person,but when depression hits you, you won’t care how many slices of cake you’re going to consume if you don’t stop yourself. Drink a glass of water before eating anything. This way you have more time to relax and think about your health before gobbling up what’s in front of you. You can have a bit of chocolate to cheer you up, or maybe a smoothie in the afternoon, but don’t binge. Recovering means healing from the outside and in.
While most of us like to think that all we want is true love, the reality is, many of us are addicted to rejection. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
Get Physical. Exercise. If you’ve been doing the usual dance or yoga classes, maybe you should try the more strenuous activities, like kickboxing, cross fit training, or the Insanity videos. Sometimes, you need to push yourself further to your limits, even in exercise, to feel better and have a more improved mood. If you’ve been used to your daily regimens, you might be plateauing and won’t feel much of an improvement. So challenge yourself. This way you’d also be focused more on the exercise and less on the depression.
Consider Helping Others By Volunteering. You won’t realize it, but when you’ve tried easing other people’s problems and heartaches, you tend to forget your own. Sometimes, when you’re so caught up in your romantic relationship, you forget to share what you have with a bigger family, like your community. The breakup would be a great time for you to give back to your community by volunteering to teach kids or do creative classes if you have some hidden talents. There’s nothing more fulfilling than making other people happy.
I don’t know with you, but for me, I had to go through the whole breakup process, yet not the depression. Nope. I didn’t let it beat me. I took care of myself by doing those strategies that I mentioned, and I rose above my melancholic life. I’m pretty sure you can do it too.