Kill Her With Kindness (A Mistress’s Ordeal) 


This story is about Mike and Krissy who have been married for 46 years. They have two children, Karen and Kaleb, and 5 grandchildren ages 10, 8, 7, 5 and 1. With Mike’s booming business, he takes care of everyone.  

He provides monthly allowances for Karen and Kaleb even though they have their own successful careers. The whole family would go out of the country every 2 years for a vacation and that’s all on Mike.  The great grandpa that he is, Mike would pay for the tuition of his grandchildren in private schools. Krissy was a stay at home mom, as well. She would just do her own thing or watch the grandkids. 


February 14 is the Cheater’s Holiday. It’s a day that has morphed from a religiously based celebration into a retailers’ and hospitality industry titans’ pot of gold. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

You’d think that they have the perfect life, but no. Mike and Krissy are not living together. He packed up his bags and left Krissy 22 years ago for a woman who was only 20 years old. Her name is Angie. 

Mike never divorced Krissy and he never married Angie. Angie was good with that. Their family was weird, but as for Angie, that’s how it is. There’s a sadness in her eyes and it’s not about Mike, his kids or grandchildren. It’s not even about their own children – Mike and Angie have two kids of their own. Angie was sad because of Krissy. 

For the last two decades, Angie has never heard Krissy say something bad to her and about her. Mike promised to take care of Krissy financially because he was moneyed and so, Angie had to accept the fact that Mike was never leaving Krissyin paper. He said that while he fell out of love with Krissy and is in love with Angie, their history together cannot be erased. Their kids will not agree to it. Divorce was not an option. 

Mike was loyal to Angie and he really loved her, but Krissy’s kindness towards Angie was making her feel guilty. Krissy still wears her wedding ring and she is very polite to Angie every single time. She would even offer to watch their kids (Mike and Angie’s kids) if ever they wanted to have a date night. I mean, what kind of legal wife would do that? Take care of your husband’s kids with the mistress?  

No matter what Mike said to Angie that he left Krissy out of his own volition, the reason being that it was a loveless marriage and Krissy agreed; still after all those years, it made Angie guilty like a criminal. Angie felt that she robbed Krissy, who is a very good person (some sort of an angel even), from a life that she was supposed to be living. She was so ashamed of what she did 22 years ago and everywhere she looked, she was reminded of her poor decision. 

One answer says that he should save his wife, since his mistress will, of course, understand. That punchline relies on the husband’s assumption that his mistress will always forgive his putting his wife first; the mistress is “stronger” and so can be sacrificed. — Gina Barreca Ph.D.

Angie never felt welcomed in family gatherings. Mike’s family would always acknowledge Krissy and she knew that she would always be the home wrecker. In pictures, it always had to be Krissy. Meeting clients or suppliers, Krissy was the wife. They built the business together and it was Krissy’s money too. Yes, Mike was by her side, but this life wasn’t supposed to be hers. It was supposed to be Krissy’s life which she took away shamelessly. Krissy would even say to people, and she meant it in a good way – “Oh, I’m with my husband and his family on vacation.” Who would say that? She’s such a saint. 

One day at a party, Krissy waved at Angie – prompting Angie to nod and wave back. Of course, Mike was with Krissy and they were speaking to their old friends. Angie kept her distance because this was Krissy’s “job” as Mike’s “wife”. She realized that Krissy will forever be Mike’s wife and she will forever be a mistress. Angie can’t even fight for her “position” and she submitted to thatA guest saw this and apparently, this person was a “mistress” too. She asked Angie how she can be “friends” with her partner’s wife. It’s not normal, she said. 

Angie said to the woman, that if not for her selfish and immoral acts twenty-two years ago, Krissy will not have an Angie to deal with. Instead, Krissy was a pure heart who accepted her husband’s decision of “ending” their marriage so that he can make a life with Angie. Krissy was killing Angie with kindness and she told the woman how guilty she felt. 

Just in time, Angie heard the last statement and the other guest left the two. Krissy managed to give Angie a weak smile and said that she had to downsize due to Mike’s business failure. Their 8-bedroom family home had to be sold to get some cash and Krissy was to move in a smaller, 3-bedroom place in the suburbs. Angie was to stay in her house with Mike despite the financial problems and the house was grand, unlike Krissy’s. Again, Krissy had to sacrifice for her. 

Angie shook her head and a tear fell down her cheek. Krissy tapped her shoulder and said, “I know you feel guilty. At least now, you’re remorseful. I have forgiven you and Mike a long time ago. God will forgive you too.” Krissy left Angie to join Mike and their friends.  


Believe it or not, one startling phenomenon I’ve observed is that a mistress will lose respect for (and even come to resent) the cheater once it comes to her attention that he has yet another other woman. It’s one thing to lie to the wife because she’s all things evil, but quite another thing to lie to her. — Shane Perrault Ph.D.

It was too much for Angie and for a brief moment she wished that if she could turn back the time, she would have stayed away from Mike. But they have children now and it’s the best thing that has ever happened to her life. She loved Mike with all her heart just as Krissy loves Mike. Angie knows that. At this time, Angie can only say – IF ONLY… 

If you are in a complicated relationship right now and need some clarity, you can always find online help. Just type: therapist near me.



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