Many people come to therapy because they’re struggling to “get over” someone. They often feel stuck in their pain, as if life will never be good again. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.
You might be thinking that this relationship is not going to work out in the first place. You treasure your friendship with your best friend so much that you don’t want to risk it by having a romantic relationship. But, you still did it anyway. Now, you are blaming yourself for breaking up with your best friend. You keep on torturing yourself by repeatedly saying, “I told you so.” You expect to be best friends again but it’s impossible to go back to the way you were before.
So, how are you going to move on from your break up with your best friend? Here are some few tips that you can try to help you ease that heartbreak.
You took the risk.
It is understandable that you feel regret about your friendship and romantic relationship with your best friend. The good news is that you took the risk. You let yourself be immersed in a possibility of having this perfect relationship with your best friend. You already know each other. You also know for a fact that you truly care for one another. Hence, what you had with your best friend was real. That relationship was special even though it didn’t work out.
The most important lesson that we need to remember is that rejection is a part of life across the spectrum of experiences. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
You might be wondering if it is possible to still go back into being best friends. I would like to say that keep your hopes up. But, being real to yourself, you know that it’s not possible anymore. Yes, you can be friends again. But best friends? It probably would not work especially if you broke up in bad terms. Do not reject the offer of being friends again. If you want that person to stay in your life, even only as a friend, do it.
The term “getting rejected” (and the like) falsely puts the blame on the individual for the “rejection”. It holds an untrue assumption that somehow the person asking “caused” the rejection to occur, or it has something specific to do with a deficit in him/her. — Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.
Time to focus on yourself.
Being used to having a company might be relatively hard for you to move on. But now that you are single, it is time to focus on yourself. Do things that you are passionate about. Relive your habits. You can get back into the gym or join some cooking classes. Take this time to develop yourself. Use this time to learn more about who you really are. Maybe, it’s also a good time to think about your future plans. You can plan on continuing your education or decide what kind of career path you want to take. Use this time for you.
Ending a relationship is always hard. There’s no shortcut or easy way to move on. Nevertheless, you can do it. The heartache will pass. The longing will subside. The loneliness will be replaced with happiness. If you are struggling to do it by yourself, it’s perfectly fine to seek out for help. There are resources available online in which you can get help from professional psychologist and counselors. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you need to.