Counseling 101: When You’ve Been Heartbroken, And People Won’t Let You Forget It


I am a late bloomer when it comes to love. While most of my friends had had at least one boyfriend before we even reached high, I waited until I graduated from college before even considering having one.

This was a rule that I imposed on myself – not even my parents influenced me to do that. In truth, my mom actually urged me to have a fling or two in college so that I could experience it, but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to graduate, get my diploma, and start working before I looked for “the one.”

The advantage of waiting for love was that I did not go through a lot of heartbreaks. The disadvantage that I experienced, however, was that all eyes were on me all the time. People left and right would keep asking me during social gatherings to introduce my boyfriend to them, when I would get one, etc. Their relationship-related questions did nothing but exhaust me.

Then, Love Came 

Love came into my life when I least expected it. I was focused at work; I wanted to earn fast to leave the corporate world and start my own business before turning 30. But one day, I had a cute client at the bank where I was working, and I could not help but feel the butterflies fluttering in my stomach whenever he talked to me and smiled in my direction.

His name was Jackson. It was love at first sight for me; I had no idea that it could hit you so quickly and so unexpectedly. However, since I was a professional, I did not make the first move.


I felt lucky since, after a month of seeing Jackson there almost every week, one of my tellers told me during lunch break that Jackson asked if he could have my number. Of course, who was I to say no?

The next day, I received a text from an unknown number, asking me if I wanted to go on a coffee date. I called that number immediately because I knew who it belonged to. And I wasn’t wrong – it was Jackson asking me out.

That first coffee date turned into an every-other-day date with Jackson until he asked me to be his girlfriend. Again, who was I to say no?

When my adrenaline rush died down, I wanted to make our new relationship “social media official” and let all the nosy people in my life know that I was no longer single. But Jackson persuaded me not to do that. He told me that he wanted to introduce me to his parents before others found out about it. In hindsight, I did not know why I agreed to that, but I did.

The thing was, six months already passed, and I still hadn’t met Jackson’s parents. He already met my family and friends, and they teased me that I never put out for anyone else because I was waiting for the perfect guy. That’s what Jackson seemed to be, after all. He was intelligent, respectful, funny, and sweet.


But Love Crashed

While Jackson and I were in bed one morning, I woke up to multiple messages from my best friend. When I opened them, my world stopped.

My best friend sent me photos of a loved-up couple in a restaurant near my house. A heavily pregnant woman was leaning on the guy, who looked so much like my boyfriend. I looked down the floor and noticed that the clothes that the man was wearing in the pictures were the same as what Jordan wore when he came to my house last night.

I woke Jackson up and showed him the pictures without a word. He tried to explain that he got that girl pregnant, but he didn’t love her. Jackson wanted to continue our relationship, but I said no. I knew that we were already over the moment I saw those pictures.

Dealing With Family Reactions

Although I could have badmouthed Jackson in front of my loved ones, I didn’t do it. I just asked my best friend to keep what she found out between us, hoping that it would make the issue die down immediately. After all, many people had broken relationships – my experience should not be singled out.

Unfortunately, my family and other friends were too nosy – they did not buy it when I said that Jackson and I merely drifted apart. They kept postulating theories about why Jackson was out of the picture so soon, even citing that I might be boring.


Despite all that, I kept my mouth shut. I secretly tried looking for a new boyfriend, but I hadn’t found one who met my standards. Hence, after a year or two, you would expect the gossip regarding my failed relationship to be gone, but that did not happen. The bees kept buzzing, much to my dismay.

Getting Counseling

I ended up seeing a counselor when four years already passed, and the situation was still the same. I had been heartbroken, I should have moved on a long time ago, but my foolish loved ones kept reminding me of my failed relationship. Their words started to chip away at my resilience, considering they were hitting the same spot over the years.

What the counselor helped me realize was that I should have learned the art of detachment years ago. Those family and friends who kept talking about my ex brought toxicity to my life, making me depressed. If I wanted to feel better, I would have to stay away from them.

That’s what I did – I just stopped showing up to social gatherings where I knew those people would go. My parents initially got upset with me, but they understood that it was for my mental health.

I eventually found a new boyfriend, who later became my husband, but I stopped listening to my relatives and friends way before that. I was better for it.

Frequently Asked Questions About Seeking Relationship Counseling Online

Fate is as mysterious as life itself, I must say. Sometimes, it brings two incredibly excellent people together, and they share a wonderful life. Other times, it gets two awful individuals together, and they spend their lives spiting each other. What could be worse than the latter was a nice person meeting a terrible one, and they could not split easily.

Here’s My Story

There was a time when I was a big Captain America fan. I studied his history and learned that he did not start as a hunky guy. He used to have a frail body and a smaller stature before getting a serum that basically turned him into a superhero. Because of that, my preference for men changed. Instead of going for the hunkiest guy in town, I looked for a skinny guy who could transform before my eyes and become my own Captain America.

I eventually found one in Johnny. He was my nerdy classmate in calculus. He Was very tall but also gaunt. When a popular girl like me took an interest in him, the entire campus buzzed with gossip, but I did not care about that. I brought Johnny to the gym where I was a member and encouraged him to exercise with me.

It only took three months before muscles formed between Johnny’s bones and skin. After six months, he was already as big as Captain America. And, boy, was he as hot as Captain America!


When Reality Knocked On My Door Harshly

I initially assumed that Johnny would care for me as much as Cap did for Peggy Carter even after all his upgrades. After all, I was a catalyst to his change. Without me, he might still be dorky and skinny.

When the next semester came, though, Johnny changed. He began hanging out with the jocks; I would catch him exchanging flirty looks with other girls in the corridor. Still, they were harmless, so I did not talk about it much.

Unfortunately, Johnny’s self-confidence and ego grew with his muscles after college. He would claim to be at home when he was partying somewhere most of the time. Worse, his new friends would tag me on Instagram, and I would see him dancing and getting wasted.

I reached my breaking point when his flirty secretary whispered in his ear, and he did not do anything. I told him we had to get relationship counseling; otherwise, we should end things right there. Johnny chose to find online relationship counseling with me.

Is there any free online therapy? 

 Technically, there is no free online therapy. You may get free counseling advice through 7 Cups of Tea, but that’s not one-on-one – the information is accessible for all. If you wish to receive online therapy, you need to pay for a monthly subscription.

Is ReGain free? 

 ReGain offers a one-week free trial.

How do you get free Counselling? 

 If you wish to receive free counseling, you may contact local training facilities, Medicaid, and other institutions.

Is online marriage counseling effective? 

 Yes, online marriage counseling is effective. Try not to be surprised about it, considering it meets all the requirements for a successful counseling session: the two parties are present, not gunning for each other’s throats, and talking honestly with one another. The fact that they are not in the same room makes the latter more possible.

What is the #1 cause of divorce? 

 Many factors can cause divorce; that’s why it seems challenging to pick one. However, one word that appears in most lists is “infidelity.”


What are the signs of a broken relationship

  • You feel resentment towards your partner more than anything else.
  • You have lost respect for each other.
  • You tend to lie regarding severe matters, believing that your partner will not find out.
  • You can no longer trust your partner after experiencing betrayal.
  • You try everything to avoid being in the same room – or bed – as your partner.
  • You feel the need to take a protective stance whenever your partner asks about anything.
  • You stop considering your partner’s feelings.

How do you get the spark back in a broken relationship? 

  • Look for a new hobby or activity that neither of you has ever tried before and enjoy it. That can be traveling, fishing, gardening, etc.
  • Maintain or increase your physical connection. For instance, hold hands, hug each other, or sit beside one another. Without it, no relationship can survive.
  • Sexual intimacy should be improved to fix a broken relationship, too. If you find yourself losing your attraction to your partner, you can try spicing things up by being sexually adventurous.
  • Try to praise each other more even when you don’t feel like it. The challenge may only come in the beginning, considering you are used to spiting one another. However, when you learn to be more appreciative, the praises will come naturally to you.

What are the signs that you are not in love anymore? 

  • Your heart no longer races when you see your partner.
  • You do not feel like touching your partner in any way.
  • You still have sex with your partner, but you only do it because you feel like that’s one of your responsibilities.
  • You get irritated quickly when you think of your partner, even if they have done nothing irritating.

Why do most relationships fail? 

 Most relationships fail because one person cannot trust the other. Sometimes, this feeling is valid, mostly if the latter always does something untrustworthy. Other times, the former is too possessive or always overthinking.

What are the 5 stages of dating? 

  • Attraction: This is technically the honeymoon stage wherein the couple cannot get their hands off of each other.
  • Reality: The attraction phase is over when the couple experiences their first fight in the relationship. It may occur within the first six months.
  • Commitment: If the couple feels more deeply about each other, they start dating exclusively. This is when they officially become a romantic item.
  • Intimacy: This stage is different from the first one because the couple does everything with love. Even if they do not sleep together every night, they still feel close and satisfied.
  • Engagement: The final dating phase happens when the couple learns to apologize and forgive each other. You are more committed than ever to each other – no flaw or judgment error can break you apart.

Why do men withdraw? 

  • They have lost interest or attraction towards the opposite sex.
  • They see no future with the woman.
  • They are scared of showing vulnerability.
  • They are not ready to commit to a single woman.

What is a toxic relationship? 

 A relationship is technically toxic if the couple no longer respects, loves, supports, or cherishes each other. Its toxicity level increases if abuse or violence gets in the mix.

What are the red flags in a relationship? 

  • Justifying your partner’s awful behavior in front of your loved ones is a major red flag in a relationship. You are doing it because you know that the latter will be mad, yet you still want them to accept your partner.
  • You should think twice about your relationship if you and your partner gloss over arguments and makeup without resolving them. It may seem fantastic now, but it does not change the fact that the issues are still there.
  • Considering your partner always tests your boundaries or honesty, that’s another red flag. It entails that they have unspoken trust issues, and you need to address that before it breaks you apart.
  • You cannot feel happy when your partner says that they own you. No one can own you except for yourself. Letting them think and act otherwise will make your life miserable in the end.
  • It is also a red flag if your happiness becomes set aside so that your partner can be happy. Regardless of who makes more money than the other, you both deserve to get the same things.

What an unhealthy relationship looks like? 

  • You fight or yell at each other all the time.
  • You like to control one another.
  • You avoid your partner’s questions or vice versa.
  • You always feel insecure.
  • You depend on your partner 100%.

Why do I fight a lot with my girlfriend?

Fighting a lot with your girlfriend can mean various things. You probably refuse to back down during an argument, don’t want to let her win, or believe that you are right. Whatever is on your mind, you should step back a little and realize if you still want your relationship to go on. If you do, find a common group with your girlfriend. If you don’t, then end things now before it’s too late.


Final Thoughts

To cut a long story short, my boyfriend and I broke up even after going through relationship counseling online. Our priorities just grew apart. He wanted to enjoy life more without me; I wanted to settle down with him. In the end, I had to let him go to protect myself from more pain.

I must admit that it was incredibly challenging at first because I was used to being with my hunky man all the time. Over time, I realized that no muscles would be enough if the guy who had them could no longer love me. Because of that, I learned to be complete on my own. I am ready for a new relationship now, but I’ll just let him find me – whoever he is.

Frequently Asked Questions About Dysthymia

Experiencing depressive symptoms is not easy, especially when you have to deal with them every day. You need to acknowledge lots of things because your emotional and mental health can get easily caught up with stress from all the uncontrollable things around you. Infrequent instances, it takes so much of your overall energy and leaves you desperate for better health. Unfortunately, sometimes, that desperation tends to pull you away from stable progress of wellness recovery.

In some cases, several depressive symptoms are not that debilitating. Some may tend to last a couple of weeks, but it does not create too much harm in a way or another. There are depressive symptoms that you can manage, provided that you follow specific mental health guidelines such as therapy, medication, and self-care.

But then again, you need to constantly remind yourself that depression is still a mental health problem that you should not ignore. Not because you find it manageable, it does not mean that you should feel overly confident about your emotional and mental health. You must realize that even small triggers can cause a lot of damage, more than ever, if you do not exert effort to understand or learn helpful information about the mental health condition you are going through.

In line with mental health issues, some of these answered frequently asked questions should help you know more about depressive symptoms.


What does Dysthymia mean?

Dysthymia is also known as a persistent depressive disorder. It is a constant long-term persistent form of depression. In most cases, it can make you lose interest in normal daily activities, even in those things you once enjoyed. It can make you feel hopeless, unworthy, and extremely sad. You may also experience a lack of productivity and often have low self-esteem and an overall sense of inadequacy.

Note that Dysthymia is a serious psychological issue with an insidious onset. Therefore, you should not consider it a mild depression.

 Can Dysthymia be cured?

While there is no definite cure for depressive disorders, those individuals living with Dysthymia can still live happy and fulfilling lives despite dealing with the symptoms for more than a year. Symptoms can recede and go away over time, but the condition will not go away independently. It needs to undergo certain medication and treatments to vanish fully. If you think you may have Dysthymia, it is essential to seek professional help immediately. It is also important to create a solid support system to count on along your recovery journey.

 How long does Dysthymia last?

Dysthymia is also referred to as a mild depression. It is less severe, and most individuals experience fewer indications than major depression. But with Dysthymia, the depressive symptoms can linger for a long period. Usually, it can go for about two years or more. With that, it is important to keep taking the prescribed medicine, even if it doesn’t seem to be working at first.

 Is Dysthymia a serious mental illness?

Yes, Dysthymia is a serious illness. However, the condition is also very treatable. With the help of an early diagnosis and proper medical treatment, the intensity and duration of symptoms can be reduced gradually. But note that some medications and treatments do not work for the same individuals for their needs vary. What may work for others may somehow change nothing or make the condition worse.

Thus, it is vital to seek professional treatment to avoid complicating the situation. Do not rely on self-diagnosis and avoid self-medication. You must understand your treatment plan not to end up dealing with Dysthymia for an extended period.

 Does Dysthymia qualify for disability?

Individuals can only qualify for Social Security Disability with Dysthymia if they suffer from symptoms that considerably limit their working skills and ability. Because even if the condition is considered mild, some people deal with the symptoms terribly. Thus, for them to receive approval for disability benefits, they must meet the criteria listed in the Social Security Administration’s blue book.


 What is the best medication for Dysthymia?

Antidepressant treatment that works better for Dysthymia includes SSRIs, TCAs, and monoamine oxidase inhibitors. These are all equally effective. However, most medical experts recommend SSRIs as they tend to be slightly better and well-tolerated. But even with these mild medications, side effects vary among these choices. You need to seek professional advice before taking any medications for Dysthymia.

 Is Dysthymia a mood disorder?

Although Dysthymia is less extreme, this condition, also known as persistent depressive disorder (PDD), can cause chronic and long-lasting moodiness that ranges in severity. There are times that people can experience common symptoms like low energy, disturbed sleep, poor concentration, and depressed mood that last for an extended period. Others also deal with troubling regular sleep, losing interest in life, lacking productivity, feeling hopeless and empty, having extremely low self-esteem, and getting poor concentration.

For some individuals, it can change their lives all of a sudden as they begin to experience chronic or long-lasting moodiness that varies in severity.

 Can you get rid of Dysthymia?

It is advisable to seek treatment whenever symptoms occur to avoid significant problems with Dysthymia. That is regardless of the strength and intensity. It would help if you also considered knowing more about the condition and understanding what you need to do. It would be best if you can gather all the support you need. Let your friends and family know what you are going through, and make sure you open up about the struggle. Organize and motivate yourself to be better. Always aim for recovery and prioritize your health. Care for yourself as much as you have to.

Is Dysthymia a form of bipolar?

Dysthymia usually co-occurs with other psychological disorders and often gets referred to as a double depression. It is where the occurrence of episodes of major depression scrambles up along with the symptoms of Dysthymia. The switching periods of dysthymic and hypomanic moods indicate cyclothymia. It is known as a light condition of bipolar disorder.

 What are the five mood disorders?

The five common mood disorders are Dysthymia, Substance-induced mood disorder, Bipolar disorder, Major depression, and Mood disorder related to another health condition.

If you happen to experience some of these mental health conditions’ warning signs, do not ignore them. Take time to prioritize your mental health and consult with your doctor right away for further diagnosis and possible treatment.


 How do I know if I’m bipolar?

To get an accurate clinical diagnosis of bipolar disorder, an individual should have had at least one hypomanic or manic experience. These signs of manic behavior include uncomfortable and unstable moods. Usually, there is an abnormal upbeat, increased energy or agitation, racing thoughts, distractibility, unusual talkativeness, and decreased need for sleep. In some particular cases, there is euphoria or an exaggerated sense of well-being and self-confidence.

 What triggers cyclothymia?

Unfortunately, the causes of cyclothymia are unknown. However, a genetic link is probable because depression, bipolar disorder, and cyclothymia all tend to run in families. There are traumatic events or experiences that people experienced that often act as a trigger for the condition. These include severe illness or long periods of stress.

The signs and symptoms of cyclothymia are not as severe as those of bipolar disorder. But although that is the case, it’s critical to seek immediate professional help to manage these symptoms. If left untreated and ignored, cyclothymia symptoms can interfere with the ability to function as it increases your risk of bipolar I or II disorder.

 How is cyclothymia diagnosed?

The diagnosis of cyclothymia starts with a physical exam and a review of general medical history. Doctors also consider blood work to screen individuals for substance abuse to rule out other illnesses with similar symptoms. Then there is also a psychiatric exam and mental status health check that gets administered by psychiatrists.

 Why does my mood change so quickly?

Moods can change all of a sudden due to acting up hormones. These hormones affecting the brain’s chemistry may either lose or increase their levels depending on the situation’s factors. Significant mood changes are quite normal. However, mood disorders such as major depression or bipolar depression can be different. These are considered mental health problems because their severe form can take a toll on a person’s life.

 What are the four types of bipolar?

There are four primary categories of bipolar disorder, according to the American Psychiatric Association. It is bipolar I disorder. It is where a person deals with abnormally irritable or elevated mood and unexplained high energy levels. The second one is bipolar II disorder. It is the state that causes significant impairment to a person as he stays depressed for longer periods. Then there is cyclothymic disorder. It is where an individual experiences moods swing between short periods of mild depression. And lastly, there is bipolar disorder due to another medical disorder.



Frequently Asked Questions About Executive Dysfunction


I was among the many little girls in the world who believed in princesses, true love, and happily ever after. This belief started when my mother allowed me to watch Disney movies on our old TV decades ago. I could not honestly relate to any of the princesses. I did not have crazy stepsisters like Cinderella, I did not need to live with the dwarves like Snow White, and I did not fall asleep for a long time like Aurora. However, the fact that they all had a handsome prince to save them from their misery was too romantic.

Because of that, I looked for my one true love for years.

The Downside Of Looking For Love

The primary downside of looking for love instead of waiting for it to come my way was that I had to deal with awful guys through the years. I started dating around 16 years old, hoping that one of the popular boys at school was my Prince Charming. When they all turned out to be duds, though, I still did not lose hope. I finished high school and went to college with searching for love as one of my main goals. 

Once I was officially a college student, I honestly did not care much about studying. It is shameful to admit now, but it’s true. I was more focused on getting invited to different frat parties. I realized that the quickest way to do that was by becoming a sorority member, so I went through hell to be a part of the Alpha Phi Zeta sorority. My efforts eventually paid off because I had free passes to every party and had a chance to look for that special man who could sweep me off my feet. At least three times a week, I had a party to attend. I would still go to classes, but my mind would often drift off to what dress to pick, how to do my eyeliner, etc. 

In all fairness, I found a few potential boyfriends during my first two years in college. However, all of them had something in common – they were not ready for a long-term relationship. I was not too bothered about it when I thought that I had enough time left to find love. When I graduated, got a stable job, and remained loveless, though, I began to worry big time.

My inability to snag an incredible man ate me up slowly. It did not prevent me from going on blind dates, but the more I failed to connect with my dates, the worse I felt. It did not help that I had a head-on collision with a sedan one evening after going home from another failed date. Thank goodness I did not get any physical injury, but I dealt with a terrible concussion that left me dizzy for weeks. Then, one morning, I woke up feeling like there was no hope for me to fall in love with the right man.

More Chaos Ensued

The downward shift of my emotions acted as a catalyst for the awful situations I found myself in for a few weeks. I started to forget how to schedule my daily activities, causing my work-related projects to overlap and get delayed. When I went to meetings, my usual knack of remembering even the littlest details about previous discussions evaded me. Worse, since I could not recall my mistakes, I kept repeating them, much to my colleagues’ frustrations.

All this time, my boss and friend Karen had been patient with me. She forgave my shortcomings and believed that I could bounce back soon. However, she had no choice but to perform an intervention when the company almost lost a high-paying client due to my growing incompetence.

“I was so close to firing you today, but I knew how effective you used to be at your job. I am willing to give you another chance – one last chance – if you promise to see a psychologist and determine what the heck’s wrong with your brain.”

Grateful, I did as my boss told me. I scheduled an appointment with a psychologist affiliated with the company and eventually learned that I suffered from executive dysfunction

What are the signs of poor executive functioning? 

  • You cannot control your emotions effectively.
  • Your planning and organizational skills become poor.
  • You find it challenging to pay attention to anyone talking.
  • You deal with memory loss for a short time.
  • You can no longer multitask.
  • You forget how to behave appropriately in a social setting.
  • You tend to make the same mistakes.
  • You cannot absorb new information.

Is executive dysfunction a symptom of anxiety? 

It is still undetermined if executive dysfunction is a symptom of anxiety. However, the mental disorder hinders your attentional control.

What are the seven executive functions? 

  • Concentrating
  • Controlling feelings and actions 
  • Multitasking
  • Planning and organizing
  • Problem-solving
  • Processing information
  • Recalling details, big or small

What are executive dysfunctions? 

Executive dysfunctions refer to behavioral and emotional challenges that people experience after their frontal brain lobe gets injured.

What causes poor executive functioning? 

Traumatic injury or any damage to the frontal brain lobe or basal ganglia causes poor executive functioning.

How do you fix executive dysfunction? 

  • Take a systematic approach to everything.
  • Use organizational materials like calendars, to-do lists, and even watches.
  • Decide on how you will shift from one activity to another beforehand.
  • Try writing notes if you have trouble remembering things.
  • Subdivide your tasks.

Is executive dysfunction a symptom of depression? 

Yes, executive dysfunction is a symptom of depression.

What is the difference between ADHD and executive function disorder? 

The main difference between attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and executive function disorder is that the former has been proven to be a real mental illness while the latter is not. Most people see executive function disorder as a symptom of another condition, particularly depression.

Can an executive function be improved in adults? 

Yes, the executive function can be improved in adults, even though it is most common in young adults. People achieve that by doing aerobic exercise.

What does executive function disorder look like in adults? 

When adults experience executive function disorder, they have trouble with the following:

  • Finishing basic tasks
  • Tracking time
  • Meeting goals
  • Organizing tasks
  • Focusing 
  • Changing activities

Is executive dysfunction a disability? 

No. Since executive dysfunction is not an official mental disorder, it is not considered a disability.

How do you test for executive function in adults? 

Doctors typically use various tests (e.g., VFT, TMT, etc.) to determine adults’ executive functions.

Can an executive function be improved? 

Yes, any executive function can improve.

What is an executive function test? 

An executive function test is a mental evaluation that assesses an individual’s ability to process various information.


What is executive function disorder in adults?

In adults, executive function disorder refers to neurological deficits that keep them from analyzing, planning, organizing, and completing different tasks.

Final Thoughts

Executive dysfunction was the effect of one crazy accident that I did not realize would affect me my entire life. I had to get therapy and counseling and focus on finding mental and emotional stability again. It was a long, arduous process, and there were still days when I would slip up and feel down. Despite that, the situation allowed me to stop looking for love incessantly and taught me how to love myself.

Coping In Romantic Relationships Affected By Mental Health Disorders


Finding someone who you want to be with for the rest of your life is a beautiful thing. Nowadays, the number of adults engaging in intimate relationships is rapidly increasing. But studies show that nearly half of these adults are also suffering from mental illnesses. 

Our mental health and our relationships affect one another. But romantic relationships play a considerably more vital role in one’s mental health. They require higher emotional capacity and more effort as opposed to sharing a connection with family and friends. 

Having a mental disorder can undoubtedly make it more challenging. However, there are many ways to cope with this and support both yourself and your partner.

Understanding Mental Health Disorders

Psychological disorders, also known as mental disorders or illnesses, refer to a broad range of conditions that severely affects a person’s thinking, emotional, and behavioral capacities. Some of the most common diagnoses include depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and bipolar disorder. 

Alcoholism and drug abuse are also under this category. Those who suffer from these often receive medications and therapy, which can be short-term for some and long-term for others.

Different mental illnesses require different levels of care and reception. Both parties of the relationship must identify the other’s conditions, if there are any. Understanding the suffering and experiences of your partner will help you support and survive your relationship. You will find more resources and tools to nurture what you have.

Disclosing Your Mental Health Condition To Your Partner


For many mental health sufferers, disclosing their mental health condition to their partners is probably one of the most grueling things they need to do. After all, there are still plenty of misconceptions about the topic. Most people cannot take in the news very well or refuse to do so because of the stigma surrounding mental health.

Mental health often appears as a stressor in most relationships. People tend to think it is an added burden, which may be true to an extent. But hiding your dilemmas to your partner will only further risk your relationship, and more underlying nuisances may arise. Thus, it is essential for both you and your partner to know whether you live through one or a few mental disorders.

Talk to your partner. It may be challenging, but acknowledging that there is something wrong with one or both of you could help your relationship navigate these obstacles.

Dealing With A Romantic Relationship Affected By Mental Illness

Assuming that you have sat with your partner and confer about mental health disorders, the next step now is coping with the impediments it brings to prolong your romantic relationship. The battle against psychological disorders can be exhausting and taxing, but you need to hang in there. There are days where intimacy, love, and patience start thinning out, but here are ways to avoid those:

  • Educate Yourself About Mental Health 

First, understanding what is happening is the best plan of action you can do. When you are, or you want to enter a relationship with a person having a mental disorder, it is vital to understand their situation. Being informed on topics and conditions like this will help you gain more ideas on how to approach your partner when undergoing an episode. 

Reading literature, online information, or even joining your partner’s therapy or other psychological and psychiatric appointments, of course, all under approval, are some of the legitimate resources available that you can seek.

  • Do Counseling Together


It does not matter if only one of you is distressed. In a relationship, issues of one individual affect the other just the same. There can be no fixed position in a relationship since it is a mutual process. One cannot always act as the caregiver or vice-versa.  You have to make sure that the well-being of the two of you are taken care of. With the help of a professional, both of you can practice self-care.

No matter how unstable your significant other may seem because of the illness, let your partner decide for him/herself. It is easy to assume that just because you are the sounder person in the relationship, you can already make the right choices for both of you. That is not always the case. 

You will never truly understand what your partner is going through, despite reading hundreds of literature or seeking doctors’ bits of advice. It is why it is necessary to understand your significant other’s perspective, what he/she has to say about situations, and let him/her take the wheel at times.

Even people with mental health disorders can have a successful, healthy relationship. Ultimately, the decision should come from both sides of the relationship and mutually come up with ways to overcome the tides as one.


Helping Your Family Deal With Divorce

Sometimes, parents must break up to keep their family together. However, such changes do not only affect them but also the other members of the family – the children. Separation or divorce can significantly impact your children’s emotional health. It may also make them feel like it is their fault that their parents have broken up.

So, dealing with the effects of a divorce in the family is extremely necessary to help them understand why it has to happen. Here are some of the things that you must do to help your family face divorce. 

Talk With Your Family About It


The first thing you have to do is sit down with your whole family and talk to them about it. It is imperative to explain to the children that the divorce is not their fault and is a mutual decision between the parents. Say why you have to separate with your partner and remind them that the separation does not mean that you love your children less.

The divorce may make your children feel unstable and unsafe in their environment. So you must explain to them that although lots of things will change in their lives, love will remain. Assure them that both you and your partner will be there to support them while dealing with the new things. Remind them that they will never be alone despite the separation.

The words that you choose while talking with your kids also matter. You may need lesser detail when talking with younger kids than with older ones. Also, discuss the necessary logistical information with them, such as living arrangements, school changes if there are any, and activity changes.

Acknowledge Your Child’s Emotions And Offer Support


After talking with your family about it, sit down and hear them out. Ask your children about their worries and questions and let them say what they want without you interfering. It is essential to give your children time to voice themselves. Never skip this step. You may think that your child is strong and resilient, but divorce is such a significant change.

Ann Gold Buscho Ph.D. notes, “Kids go through the divorce directly: experiencing for themselves neglect or abuse, a parent moves out or has an affair, parents are not emotionally available because of mental illness or repeated lawsuits. Kids’ communication with each parent is seriously cut with shared custody, and this is a tremendous loss for them.”

So never downplay your children’s emotions or ignore them. Acknowledge how divorce affects them and offer emotional support.

Avoid The Blaming Game

You must also remember that when you start talking with your children about the separation, never start the blaming game. Parental fighting, in addition to the news of divorce, has adverse effects on your kid’s mental health. It creates a very stressful environment for them that may also affect how they view their relationship with their parents and their future relationships with other people.

It will be a bit easier for your family to get through a divorce better if both parents try to be civil with each other, especially when in front of the kids. Whenever you feel like a fight is coming, take a deep breath and slow down. Do not put more burden on your children’s shoulders by fighting with your ex-partner.

Further along, the way, remember not to badmouth your previous partner. Your words have power over your kids, especially younger ones. Do not make them lose the relationship they have with the other parent just because you do not love them anymore.

Monitor Children’s Behavior


After the divorce, you must carefully monitor your children’s behaviors for possible emotional instability. Your kids may show you a happy face when talking with you, but that does not mean that they are coping well. Some may stop participating or doing activities that they usually like to do.

Alternatively, they may start distancing themselves from the other family members and stay in their rooms at all times. These are warning signs of depression that must be dealt with accordingly.

Your children may also start avoiding doing their school work, impacting their grades. Teenagers may start using substances and do other reckless behaviors to compensate for the feelings that they have. When these do happen, avoid fighting with your children and instead give them understanding. When things are already out of hand, seek professional help.

Seek Professional Help


Finally, whether your children seem fine or not, seek professional help. There may be emotions that they are not showing because they do not understand them. Do not try to fix everything on your own because you may be doing more damage than good to them. Also, with a divorce in the family, talking with strangers may be more comfortable for your kids.

Therapists can help your children voice their feelings and teach them ways to cope with those negativities. Seeking professional help after a divorce will also be beneficial in the long run, as they will be able to process their feelings appropriately.

Your family will need to process all the worries that they have because of the divorce. The best thing that you can offer them is love, understanding, and support. Changes will be hard, but together, you and your family can get through it.



How To Make The Most Of Your New Life After Surviving COVID-19

The ordeal that COVID-19 patients go through is unimaginable for billions of individuals who are fortunate enough not to catch the coronavirus. After all, you need to go in isolation from two weeks to over a month to ensure that the virus will stop spreading. Your entire body may ache for days, and your lungs cannot function properly. Thus, when you survive the disease, everyone seems to celebrate with you.

Still, please don’t forget that it is already your second life. This rare gift should not be taken lightly. As soon as the doctors declare that you no longer have the coronavirus in your system, therefore, you should do the following:


Mend All Your Broken Relationships

In a family or circle of friends, it seems common for arguments or fights to ensue sometimes. You love one another, but your opinions about specific matters may not always be the same, so you will inevitably clash. The real problem merely occurs if you or the other person refuses to make amends and allows years to pass by without talking.

Well, since you know first-hand that life is short, you cannot let petty fights cause a permanent rift between you and your loved ones. Whether you are on the correct side of the argument, try to mend all your broken relationships before it’s too late for everyone. 


Maintain A Work-Life Balance

Among the COVID-19 patients are workaholics who may have spent most of their time in the office. They tend to sleep for two to three hours every night, claiming that they have more important things to do than rest. Many of them either skip meals or eat and drink unhealthy stuff because their time is “too precious to use for dining or cooking.”

If you are also a workaholic before the pandemic, you must know that it may be one of the reasons why you have caught the coronavirus. The never-ending work hours weakened your immune system; if only you slept and ate more and worked less, your fate might have been different. Your chances of avoiding an infectious disease may only get better once you maintain a work-life balance.  


Remove Hate In Your Heart

It is impossible for a person not to hate someone in this lifetime. Some are brutal enough to make it known; others are still secretive about it. Nevertheless, whenever the focus of your hate enters the room, your expression may turn sour, and you start nitpicking everything you notice.

Well, you must realize that hate is fueled by envy, fear, anger, and jealousy. What’s there for you to feel hateful about when you have been given the most precious gift of second life? The least you can do is to avoid tainting it with negative thoughts and emotions.


Strengthen Your Body And Mind

Of course, you should think of how you can strengthen your mind and body now. After all, your life has most likely been in danger because your immune system is not strong enough to kick the coronavirus out. That is especially true for individuals who have experienced worse symptoms than others.

Although your body already has immunity against COVID-19, there is no guarantee that a new infectious disease will not appear and affect us all again. Thus, you need to start exercising, eating healthily, and avoiding harmful habits.

Final Thoughts

Make the most out of the new life that you have been given by doing meaningful things for yourself and your loved ones. That’s the only way to show your gratitude towards the doctors and nurses who took care of you and your loved ones who prayed for your fast recovery during the COVID-19 ordeal.

Change For The Better By Being With The Right Person


During the 2019 Love and Respect Conference, Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his wife Sarah talked about love and respect as two keys for a successful marriage.

In today’s situation, people are swooned easily by looks and soft sweet nothings. But later in their relationship, everything will seem to crash once they show their true colors to them. Some still have the benefit of the doubt to their partners because they love them, and they believe they will change. Unfortunately, it’s a never-ending vicious cycle of toxicity.

Let go of the toxic relationship and surround yourself with the right person. Not only are they good for your mental health, but they also help you change for the better.

They Know How To Say “Sorry”

Humility is one of the keys to a healthy relationship. The wrong person thinks he is always right, and they will always blame you, even if they committed the mistake. The right person will acknowledge and say sorry for what they have done. They will also make an effort not to repeat those mistakes.  

They Consider Your Feelings And Thoughts


The famous saying goes, “it takes two to tango.” Just like in every relationship, it is always a give-and-take. To keep the relationship going, each one must consider their partner’s efforts to them. You’re with the right person if they always appreciate you every time for your love and effort. This compliment makes you feel more confident about yourself because the person you genuinely care about validates you.

They Are Supportive 

We want to achieve a lot of goals and aspirations, and it’s reasonable to share these with someone you can trust wholeheartedly. The wrong person will dismiss them and judge you. However, the right person will support you and even help you achieve them. The right partner will never criticize your dreams, no matter how big or small they may be.

Be With The Right Person This Time


Remember that it’s essential to be with someone who will make you feel good about yourself, not sabotage you with negative thoughts. Most likely, if you’re dating someone with these characteristics, you’ll have a healthy and romantic relationship.

How To Be Strong For Your Ill Spouse?

Learning that my spouse had the coronavirus was the darkest day of my life. Ever since John came back from a business trip to Italy, he already showed signs of COVID-19. We both sensed that that was the problem from the moment he ran a high fever, and it was painful for him even to breathe. However, it still stung when the results came, and we found out that he tested positive.

I could remember that day vividly because it occurred close to the end of his 14-day self-quarantine. My husband and I had a countdown for when we thought we could see each other. The reality was, although we could video chat every day, it sucked that we were not allowed to be together. When the ambulance came to pick him up so that he could get proper medication, I could not even say bye to my husband. It also meant that we could not meet for an extended period.


Couple that experience with the thought that my husband might die because of the coronavirus, all I did was cry and pray every day at home. But you know, my husband never saw me shed a single tear throughout this ordeal. He only learned of that routine a couple of weeks after the doctors discharged him and cleared him of COVID-19. The reason was that I would always goof around and be my quirky self to make him smile whenever we would FaceTime. We would talk about his illness for a few minutes, but that’s about it. He would eventually change the subject, and I told him stories about home as if he was still on a business trip.

No one encouraged me to do it, but I knew that I had to show a strong front for my spouse to keep him from worrying about me while recuperating. And it worked—he overcame coronavirus. Now, we are both genuinely happy and helping people in our community in every possible way.

Assuming your husband or wife’s ordeal with COVID-19 is not over yet, I feel for you. Here’s what you can do to be strong in front of your ill spouse.


Don’t Cry When You Talk
The first thing you should stop or avoid doing is crying whenever you talk to your spouse. Doing so will not be insensitive at all. You see, your spouse may already be an emotional wreck at this point in their life. Their life is in danger; the doctors can only do so much to help them. If they see you breaking down, they may not be able to handle it. That can hurt your husband or wife’s healing process.

Use The Word ‘When’ Instead Of ‘If’ Often
I realize now that my sentences typically started with, “When you get better…” while my husband was dealing with the virus. I tried not to use ‘if’ as much as I could because it sounded to me like I had no faith in his recovery. And, no, you won’t be idealistic by talking in that sense; instead, it makes you optimistic.


Prove That Life Does Not Stop Because Of The Disease
During my spouse’s ordeal, I tried to continue working from home and telling my husband about it. We also used Netflix Party one too many times to watch movies together and then chat about the scenes in between. The simplicity of such activities has proven to be fantastic for my recuperating man, considering it has allowed him to think less of COVID-19.

Final Thoughts
I get how emotional it can be to see your husband or wife fight a lethal virus. As I said earlier, I was a crying mess when my husband was ill, too. However, you can always wipe your tears before calling your partner and choose to put a smile on your face. That’s the single yet most powerful thing you can do to help them.

What To Do After Leaving A Toxic Relationship


The Love Relationship Conference 2019 discussed the fascinating insights about the five love languages. It is essential to know the love language of your partner because it can help you become a better person to your loved one. Sometimes though, no amount of effort can make a relationship work, especially toxic relationships. And the best way to go is out of the partnership.

When you finally find the courage to leave the toxic relationship, here are the things that you have to do.

Always Remember: It’s Not Your Fault

It will be easier for you to blame yourself after leaving the toxicity. But the truth is it isn’t. How your partner treated you: the emotional manipulation, isolation, control, is not your fault. When you start thinking about blaming yourself, say this out loud, “it’s not my fault.” Self-blame is your mind’s way of covering up the pain that you felt when you were in the relationship, so it is also toxic in itself.


Practice Self-Care

One of the critical things that you lost in the relationship is your care for yourself. So, what you need to do now is to rediscover it. Start by doing something that you used to love. Be it shopping, reading, or singing out loud, do it. Know that you matter. You deserve care.

Talk About Your Feelings With Someone You Trust

What you went to is traumatic and may be hard to process. But what your feeling is valid and needs to be dealt with. So, find a friend or relative that you trust and tell them about what happened. Talking with someone about it can help you process your emotions. If there’s no one to speak with, you may seek professional help for support.


Lastly, allow yourself to grieve. You are a strong person, but you are still a person. You need to cry over what happened or be angry about it; express them. Grieving will be the first step towards healing after leaving that toxic relationship.

Nobody deserves to be in a toxic relationship, but sometimes, people still get tangled in one. When it happens to you, disengage immediately. Always remember that you are worthy of love, not hurt. Don’t forget this.