Coping With Unrequited Love


It can be difficult to deal with the emotions that arise when you have been rejected by the person that you like. It can feel as though your heart has been ripped out of your chest and you have lost everything that had mattered to you in the world. However, unrequited love, much like any other emotional affliction, can be handled. If you have recently dealt with rejection, take a look at the tips below to help you cope with unrequited love.  

Unfortunately, we’ve spent years trying to build up the self-esteem of an entire generation and have created a world in which the word, “No,” carries more power to wound adults more deeply than ever believed possible. — Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.

  1. Allow Yourself to Feel

People will often ignore and deny their feelings about a negative situation in an attempt to be strong or to get over their emotions faster. Despite this seemingly logical plan, denying and repressing emotions that have been caused by rejection will most likely create problems for you in the long run. The best course of action to take after being rejected is to fully embrace and accept the emotions that come along with your loss. Only then will you be able to understand what is going on in your mind and what you can do about those feelings.  

  1. Be Productive

Use the whirlwind of emotions that you are experiencing as motivation to get things done. Rejection can either make or break you and judging by the amount of celebrities out there who have used rejection as fuel to launch themselves into a successful career, it is a far better choice to let rejection make you. Remember, success is the best form of revenge.  

Our defenses are formed based on early life experiences, past hurts that led us to engage in acts that still feel self-protective but actually serve to limit our lives and relationships. — Lisa Firestone, Ph.D.

  1. Separate Yourself From the Situation

Continuing to be around the person who has rejected you can be even worse than the initial loss itself. Although you may want to continue to be friends with them, you should temporarily separate yourself from the person to prevent you from making continual advances and to help ease the feelings that you have for them. If you must be around them because of your living situation, your school, or your work, keep social interaction to a minimum and remain emotionally distant. If you feel as though you can remain friends without letting your feelings get in the way, do so cautiously.   

  1. Realize That There Is Something Better for You Out There

No matter how many rejections you go through, know that it is all leading you to the one person who will stand by you. You’ll never find what you are searching for if you decide to give up on love or if you stop seeing people because you have been rejected too many times. Once you find the person that you have been looking for, the amount of rejections that you have dealt with throughout your life won’t matter anymore.  

“You” did not get rejected. The person saying no doesn’t even know the essential “you”. — Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D.

  1. Take This Time to Focus on Yourself

It’s easy to lose yourself trying to be what someone else wants, especially if you’re doing so to avoid rejection. The next time that you are rejected, take time to work on yourself rather than trying to work on finding a relationship. Do what you love, pursue what you’re passionate about, and live life on your own terms. People will fall in love with you when you are happy, genuine, and trying to be the version of you that you can be.  

  1. Come to Terms With the Cycle

You’re going to face rejection consistently throughout your life. The only way that you will be able to overcome rejection is to come to terms with the cycle of rejection and to keep searching for the one person who won’t say no. Learn from it, grow from it, and refuse to let unrequited love get you down.  



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