Not All Heartbreak Occurs Outside of Relationships  

Heartbreak hurts. Loss is shattering. Put these two together and you’ve got the lovely one-two punch that can come with breakups of short-lived or long-term relationships. —

Not all relationships have to end in order to cause you heartbreak. Sometimes, you can get your heart broken by staying in a toxic relationship and allowing your partner to repeat behaviors that harm you emotionally or physically. These types of relationships can wear you down over time and make you feel as though this type of treatment is the only thing that you deserve. End the cycle and free yourself from these types of relationships by identifying, in your relationship, any of the behaviors below.  

  1. Physical Violence

If your partner has ever slapped you, hit you, or used unnecessary force, end the relationship immediately. This is not acceptable behavior. The longer you stay with a person of this nature, they will begin to think that it is okay to abuse and the abuse will gradually get worse until you are either hospitalized or dead. You may think that you love them and they may have convinced you that this is all you are worth but it is not true.  

  1. Verbal Abuse

No one is allowed to shout obscenities at you or tell you how disgusting/annoying/terrible you are. Although it may not seem as extreme as being physically abused, verbal abuse still causes damage to your self-esteem. These types of people have an easy time making you feel that they are the only person you can be with because no one else would want you. You are wanted and you do deserve much better than that relationship.  

If there is disagreement on goals, that’s OK because at least there is dialogue taking place. If, however, one or both parties in the relationship are indifferent about the future and not talking about a shared vision – it doesn’t bode well for the future. —

  1. Controlling Behavior

Controlling partners are individuals who attempt to dictate what you can do and who you can see. They will try to push away everyone that you love so that they can have you alone. Once they have isolated you from your family and friends, they will be able to manipulate you to do whatever they want.  

  1. Picking Fights

With these types of partners, it can seem as though they are always looking to fight with you. Everything that you do or say sets them off and they spend the majority of their time making you aware of how angry they are about it. Not only can this behavior emotionally exhaust you and cause resentment, but it can also make you feel less positive about the things you do and how you act.  

If the relationship lacked true intimacy, pseudo-intimacy may have substituted for a real, binding connection. In some relationships, intimacy is tenuous, because one or both partners is emotionally unavailable. — Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

  1. Ignoring Your Happiness

A good partner will work hard to make sure that you are satisfied in the relationship. A terrible partner will allow you to work towards their happiness but will offer nothing in return. They may say that they care about you but remember, actions speak louder than words. Don’t let yourself be so caught up in your love for them that you forget about your own importance.  

  1. Being Unfaithful

It begins small. You start noticing that they are smiling at their phone more than usual. They are gone at random hours throughout the day and there is no reason why. They begin to communicate less and work on the relationship less. Suddenly, you find out that they have been cheating on you. You confront them and they tell you how sorry they are about their infidelity and they will never do it again. It happens again and the cycle repeats itself. If you can relate to the above, you need to leave your partner. Staying in a relationship with a person who refuses to be faithful only reinforces the idea that they can disrespect you and get away with it.  


The most important lesson to take away from this article is that you are worth more than your partner is making it seem you are worth. These types of behaviors speak more for your partner’s character than they do for yours. Leave the relationship and find happiness with someone else.  




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